“I preside over your birth, your life, your death.

I stride through your folklore, fairytale and myth...”

(‘I am Three’ by Maureen Bowden)

 

I never ignore the moon-gazers’ prayers. Their intuition tells them that Selene, Queen of the Night, Essence of the Moon, will listen. I’m rather busy, of course, being also goddess of fertility, ebb and flow of birth, life and death, and several other portfolios beyond the interest or scope of other deities. Plus, we mustn’t forget the werewolves. Where would they be without me?

 

I heard the prayer of a young woman carrying a baby in her arms. “I’m dying. Please take care of my daughter.”

 

I shone my beams upon her. She was hardly more than a child herself, haggard, half-starved, probably living rough on the streets, and she was right. She was dying. I sensed the ebb and flow of her life force. It was mostly ebb. She laid the baby on the steps of an ill-favoured, grey concrete building and walked away without looking back. I would take pity on her. She would die in her sleep that night and I would grant her a speedy rebirth into a better life.

 

The baby was crying for a home and someone to love her. Noted. I was on it. A young couple, Alexander and Jessica, were the proprietors of ‘Bulbs and Blooms’ Garden Centre. They were also moon-gazers so I watched their backs. Their prayer was to have a family. They were doing the necessary but having no success. In my ‘Bringer of Dreams and Hallucinations’ persona I would visit them to discuss the situation.

 

I sent them a shared dream, which I entered as a beautiful woman riding down a moonbeam on a white horse. Impressive, yes? We immortals love a grand entrance. In the dream I landed on their front lawn and they ran towards me.

 

Alexander said, “Is this real? It’s you, isn’t it? You’re Selene?”

 

“Well observed, young man. It is a dream but real enough to suit our purpose. You are, I believe, Alexander and this must be Jessica.”

 

“Yes. Please call me Alex.”

 

Jessica said, “And call me Jess.” How humans love abbreviations. She tickled the white horse’s ears. “What’s his name?”

 

“Horse.”

 

“Oh, right, and what should we call you? Your Majesty?”

 

“Let’s not stand on ceremony. This is the twenty-first century. You may call me Selene.” I dismounted, sat on the grass and signalled them to join me. “Let’s get down to business. You want babies and you believe I can help.”

 

Jess nodded. “Well, you are the goddess of fertility, right?”

 

“I am but you’re both already fertile and have all the appropriate equipment.”

 

She blushed. “So why can’t I get pregnant?”

`

I shrugged. “Sometimes it just doesn’t happen but you can still have a baby.”

 

Alex said, “Are we talking about adoption?”

 

“Call it what you like. I’m talking about locating the child who’s trying to find their way to you. All children need the home in which they truly belong.”

 

“Are you saying there’s already a child out there somewhere who’s actually ours? How is that possible?”           

 

I sighed. “Listen to me, my dears. This world is in a horrendous mess. Some of my fellow immortals think Gaia got the best of the bargain in being goddess of Earth, a fertile, rain-drenched planet, while I ride high and dry, lumbered with a dead rock. They couldn’t be more wrong. She has problems. I don’t. Her problems are caused by the human race. Earth is damaged, possibly beyond repair. All forms of life, except the most unpleasant, are endangered, and both rural and urban civilisations are crumbling.”

 

I had the speech prepared. Gaia had shared her concerns with me. “Reach out to the Earthlings, Selene,” she’d begged me. “Speak to them. You govern the cycles of their life. Tell them they must help Earth to heal.”

 

I’d told her, “Most of them wouldn’t heed me Gaia. They don’t trust me. Some of them believe I drive them mad. Personally I don’t think they need any help from me in that respect. Only the moon-gazers trust me. I promise to speak to them.”

 

So, here I was, keeping that promise. Alex and Jess trusted me.

 

Jess said, “We know it’s bad, Selene. Lots of good people are trying to put things right, but what does this have to do with our having a baby?”         

 

“Take a look around you, girl. You have your cosy little oasis here, surrounded by beauty and fertility, but when you step away from your blooms and bulbs the world is dysfunctional. You are aware many people are starving, violence is growing beyond the control of the lawmakers and homeless hordes are sleeping in shop doorways and under railway bridges, but you don’t recognise the babies being born amid all this chaos don’t belong there. Those little souls need to find their way to the home in which they do belong. Would you try to grow a plant in the wrong kind of soil?”

 

They looked at each other and I saw understanding in their eyes. The metaphor had hit home.

 

Jess said, “How do we find the baby who wants to be here?”

 

“I’ll take you to meet her.”

 

“She’s a girl? I wanted a girl.”

 

“Of course you did. She’s the child you wanted. Both of you, hop on the back of the horse and hold on tight. We’re going for a ride.”

 

Jess clung onto me, Alex clung onto Jess and we rode up the moonbeam into the night sky. I took the scenic route just for pleasure, galloping above the clouds, looking down on Gaia’s beleaguered, but still beautiful, planet, before swooping down and landing at the door of the dismal, grey building. The baby was no longer lying on the step.

 

Alex said, “I know this place. It’s the council home for children who have nobody to care for them. I’ve heard it’s a pretty bleak institution, overcrowded and under-staffed.”

 

Jess nodded. “I’ve heard that too. The sooner we get our daughter out of there the better.”

 

It gives a goddess a good feeling when a prayer can be granted in a manner satisfactory to all concerned. It doesn’t always happen but I was determined that this time it would. I said, “Hold on, we’re going in.” The thing about dreams is that solid edifices are no obstacle to progress. The white horse galloped straight through the concrete and followed his nose to the babies’ dormitory. We found the child, whimpering in her cot.

 

Jess said, “Can I lift her up?”

 

“No, she isn’t in the dream, but she’ll sense your presence. Speak to her.”

 

Jess said, “Hello, little one. We’re going to take you home soon.”

 

The baby stopped whimpering, looked at them, closed her eyes and slept.

 

I said. “She knows you and she trusts you. She’ll sleep easy now. The dream ends here. When you awake do whatever’s necessary: the paperwork, medicals and the rest of the aggravations. Tell me when you’ve sorted it. I’ll hear you and I’ll visit you again.”

 

~ * ~

 

They called to me when the moon rose three days later. “Selene, we have her.”

 

“I’ll see you in your dreams tonight.”

           

I rode the white horse through the window of the baby’s bedroom. Alex and Jess were standing beside the cradle that had stood empty for many months while they’d tried in vain to procreate. Their daughter was sleeping.

 

Jess said, “Here she is, Selene. The first time I picked her up she was crying, but she stopped straight away. It felt right to hold her.”

 

I said, “She’s content now. Are you?”

 

Alex said, “We are, thanks to you. The social workers helped us to start the adoption process. It will take a while but I think they’re pulling strings to speed it up. There are too many children in that wretched place and not enough carers. In the meantime they’re letting us foster her. We could see they were glad to get her off their hands.”

 

I smiled. “Adoption; fostering; that’s just words. The reality is; she’s where she belongs.”

 

Jess said, “We’re calling her Selena. Do you mind?”

 

I shook my head. “I’ll raise no objection unless she gives herself delusions of grandeur. Humans do that a lot.”

 

“She won’t. We’ll bring her up properly.”

 

“I’ll leave you to it, then.”

 

She threw her arms around me. “Thank you.” Stepping back, she said. “Before you go, may I ask you something?”

 

“Humans always have questions. Ask away.”

 

“Have you ever had children?”

 

I’d been expecting this. “Yes, two sons and fifty daughters.”

 

Alex laughed. “That a lot of bibs and bum cream. Who was the dad?”

 

Memories of the beautiful boy, locked in eternal slumber to preserve his youthful perfection, fluttered across my mind. “His name was Endymion. He was a mortal. I loved him but when mortals mate with immortals it rarely ends well.”

 

Jess said, “What went wrong?”

 

Straight to the point, that girl. “He slept a lot. He blamed Morpheus but maybe he was just bone idle.”

 

Alex laughed again. “Fifty-two babies? I wouldn’t call that bone idle.”

 

Jess scowled at him and delivered a sly dig to his ribs. She turned to me. “What happened to your children, Selene?”

 

“I don’t know, Jess. It was a long time ago. There are many stories but they’re just myths. I hope they found their way home.”

 

“Is that why you help lost children today?”

 

Humans can be very perceptive. “Maybe. Or maybe I do it because I can and it needs to be done. I’ll visit you again when Selena’s a little older, so I can see how she’s progressing.”

 

I ended the dream and returned to the sky with my memories and regrets. Immortality can be a burden. The trick is to keep busy. Maybe I’d spend some time finding out what happened to my children. If I peeled back the myths, the lies and the tale-tellers’ spite: the ancient world’s social media, I might find the truth and make my peace with the past, but that must be for another day.

 

Shaking off thoughts of Endymion, I reached out to Gaia. “How are you coping?”

 

She sounded tired. “I’m fighting despair with a flicker of hope. There’s a possibility the younger generation and their off-spring may step up to the mark and keep the old girl afloat but she’s close to being scuttled.”

 

“What’s with the metaphors? You’re beginning to sound human.”

 

“I know. It rubs off. How are you?”

 

“Good. I’ve just sent a little soul home and I have plans for another one.”

 

“I envy you, Selene. I’m running out of plans.”

 

“Keep flickering, Gaia. I’ll continue speaking to the moon-gazers, as I promised. The young ones just might do the business.”

 

“You wouldn’t like to swap jobs with me, would you?”

 

“Sorry, not a chance.”

 

“Ah, well. Good talking to you. Don’t be a stranger.”

 

“I won’t and if you need to off-load you know where I am.”

 

~ * ~

 

I waited a year before I visited Alex, Jess and Selena again. I included all three of them in the shared dream and I chose to stage it on a warm, summer’s day.

 

They were enjoying a picnic on the front lawn. I rode down a sunbeam, courtesy of Helios. He obliged, as a good brother should.

 

The little girl pointed at the white horse and said, “Doggy.” Easy mistake for a child to make. They have scant perception of scale and perspective, although better than certain politicians, but that’s Gaia’s problem, not mine.

 

Alex and Jess waved to me. I dismounted and joined them on the picnic rug,

 

“Is everybody happy?” I asked.

 

Alex said, “Yes, thanks to you. You’ve made us happier than we thought possible. We couldn’t ask for anything more.”

 

Jess smiled and I guessed she’d begun to suspect she was pregnant. I winked at her and she winked back, indicating she knew that I knew. Alex didn’t. Not yet. What she didn’t know was the child she was carrying had, in her previous life, been Selena’s birth mother. Another little soul had found her family but I experienced a sharp stab of loneliness.

 

~ * ~

 

Just as I listen to the moon-gazers’ prayers, Gaia listened to earth lovers’ prayers. She spoke to me about one such prayer. “I have news for you, Selene. The girl you call Jess believes you are lonely for your lost children. She implores me to guide you to them.”

 

“That’s kind of her, Gaia but I fear they’re all lost in the mist of time.”

 

“One of them isn’t. You’re a fool. Remember that your daughter Pandeia’s name means ‘All Brightness’. She comes home to you each time you pass the face of the sun in a solar eclipse.”

 

I remembered and I understood. When the corona shrinks, the dazzling diamond ring appears. There she is and I hadn’t known her. My first-born child comes home.